Adventures & Misadventures of the Over-analytical Okie
You Know You’re a Native
You know you’re a native of Oklahoma or lived there too long if your grandmother does not remove the Marlboro from her lips as she tells the State Trooper to kiss my ass.
Okie Salesman
A young guy from Oklahoma moves to California and goes to a big
“everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.
The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Oklahoma.”
Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.
I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?”
The kid says, “One.”
The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a
day. How much was the sale for?”
The kid says, “$101,237.64.”
The boss says, “$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?”
Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium
fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod.
Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the
coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the
boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris-Craft. Then he
said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down
to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.”
The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him
a boat and truck?”
Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife
and I said, ‘Well, your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing.”